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S2 Episode 4: Deschooling and Decolonization with Akilah Richards

3/30/2021

 
Listen on:
  • Simplecast
  • Spotify
  • iTunes
​
Episode Summary
With her podcast, Fare of the Free Child, a Ted Talk, 10 books out and an entire network devoted to the unschooling community, hundreds of thousands of people have been tuning in to Akilah Richards’ body of work. In this episode, Michelle talks with Akilah about how we can decolonize ourselves, centering community and unschooling, which Akilah defines as “...shedding the programming and habits that resulted from other people's agency over your time, body, thoughts or actions [and] designing and practicing beliefs that align with your desire to thrive, be happy and succeed...” This celebrated speaker, and organizer has just published her latest book, Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work. Tune in - you don’t want to miss this conversation.
Episode Notes
Akilah Richards shares several great resources that we’ve listed below...here are links for content and references mentioned in the show:
  • Michelle talks with Akilah Richards of Raising Free People and the Fare of the Free Child podcast, based in Lawrenceville, Georgia...part of the self-directed education movement!
  • Akilah is the author of ten books including her most recent,Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work
  •  ...and she hosts the Fare of the Free Child 
  • If you become a fan and want to support her work, check out this fresh link and her Patreon. 

References then Definitions: 
  • Unschooling: “... a child-trusting, anti-oppression, liberatory, love-centered approach to parenting and care giving. It also is about creating and expanding communities of confident, capable people who understand how they learn best and how to work collaboratively to learn and solve things. Because it really is, before you talk about learning, it's about trust, it's about looking at what liberation means intergenerationally, which includes learning, but not only that. And it's about love. What does it mean if love is not just about my intention, but about something that's actually surrounded by this ecology of accountability where I'm actually listening to the people who I'm loving on and what they're saying and what they need, and then my love in action is shaped by that. All of those things are really what I understand unschooling to be.”
  • Deschooling: ”.....shedding the programming and habits that resulted from other people's agency over your time, body, thoughts or actions. It's also ... Yes. It's also about designing and practicing beliefs that align with your desire to thrive, be happy and succeed. And those are the opposite of what has happened and continues to happen, because it's happening still, colonization.”
  • Student hood vs Personhood: “Much of what we do is to think about what would it mean if I wasn't thinking about my child just from the perspective of student?.....So, when you start to do that work on your own self, in part by not focusing so much on your child's studenthood, then you start to make the connection between the actual human, the child human, and some of the things that they're advocating for or the things they're pushing back against. You just start to really humanize your relationship intergenerationally in a way that makes it so that you can partner with a young person around their learning journey, which may or may not include school. It still might include it, but it brings in other things that are usually not a part of school, like consent and agency, confident autonomy, the nuances of what it means to collaborate in an environment that tells you that if you help somebody, you're going to get in trouble and they're going to get in trouble. Which is the most anti-humane thing ever.”
“And what we're talking about now is moving away from young people needing to perform studenthood and their right to be violated as humans, and instead looking at a way that integrates the same stuff we talk about as adults when we're in our 30s and 40s and 50s trying to get to who am I? What are my boundaries? How do I show up in the world in a way that is both affirming for me and welcoming for the sort of energies that I want to be part of? What happens when I'm super uncomfortable with someone or I don't understand or don't like, yet we have a common goal that we need to work through? These are real life situations that we do not get practice with in school.”
  • Schoolishness: “The ways that we together are so colonized. We want a leader, we want somebody needs to be right, one person's talking, the other people are listening. We do a lot of inhumane things that have become so normalized. And they didn't just appear in adulthood, they didn't just happen when you got that job with that one person. These are things that happen throughout our schooled lives. I call these things schoolishness. Not because they are rooted in school, but oftentimes school is where they are perpetuated.”
  • Ecology of accountability: .. “we find that in the self-directed spaces that's often one of the things that's missing. It's like your intentions are there and then you have some resources and you see a need the way that you define it, so you go do something. Okay, but you need to be involved. So, we talked about this a little bit at the top of our conversation. Whoever it is that you feel like you want to impact, how can you get into community with them? Right now. How can you get in community with them?”
  • Here is Akilah Richards’ Ted Talk
  • Lane Santa Cruz https://www.tucward1.com/about
  • Developing the Disrupters Ears https://www.rfpunschool.com/p/learningtolisten
  • Crystal Bird farmer https://crystalbyrdfarmer.com/   
  • Free joy experience https://www.thefreejoyexperience.com/
  • Mighty Networks https://my-reflection-matters.mn.co/  
  • Chemay Morales James https://www.linkedin.com/in/chemay-morales-james-5707764a/
  • Thea Monyee https://www.theamonyee.com/
  • Shawna Murray-Brown https://www.shawnamurraybrowne.com/
  • Gratitude to Trick Candles for our theme song, called “I’m Gold"
The thing about this podcast is that it is self-funded! So if you love it, consider joining us on Patreon, and passing along to your friends and colleagues. Of course, it is super helpful to us too, when you subscribe on your fav pod player, and rate us! Write us any time at hello@theethicalrainmaker.com or visit us at theethicalrainmaker.com

​
Transcript
“We talk about deschooling, and the definition I have for it is shedding the programming and habits that resulted from other people's agency over your time, body, thoughts or actions. It's also ... Yes. It's also about designing and practicing beliefs that align with your desire to thrive, be happy and succeed. And those are the opposite of what has happened and continues to happen, because it's happening still, colonization.”

Michelle Shireen Muri:
This is Michelle Shireen Muri, your host and fellow traveler on The Ethical Rainmaker, a podcast exploring topics we don't often visit in nonprofits and philanthropy, including the places we can step into our power or step out of the way.

The term decolonization gets thrown around a lot as a solution to big and small problems, as a process, as an ideal, as a verb. I've heard decolonizing your bookshelf, decolonizing your TV, your diet, your syllabus, your wealth. Decolonizing your body, your destiny, and even your spirit. The idea is big, and the implications are endless. And its possibly...confusing. The process of unlearning, especially as we are colonized in white supremist ways can be overwhelming no matter who you are.It's easy to disassociate, it's easy to give up or to feel resignation. 

But our guest today knows just where to start and just how to keep us motivated and inspired on this journey. Akilah Richards is an expert in a field I know almost nothing about. But here is why all of us listening should...Akilah is an expert in unschooling as a tool for decolonizing education and liberating ourselves from oppressive exclusive systems. She emphasizes unschooling and the self-directed education movement and how it can and is serving as healing grounds and liberation work. Encourages healthy, consent-based, intergenerational relationships within families. And she also discusses the fears and costs of raising free Black and brown children in a world that tends to diminish, dehumanize and disappear them.
I’m not a parent, but there is so much that we, as individuals in the third sectors need to unlearn...and Akilah is a guide.


I first became a fan through her popular podcast, called Fare of the Free Child which centers people of color in liberatory living and learning practices.

She's a well known speaker, has been featured in lots of major media, has a Ted Talk, and has written 10 books, including a co-written workbook called developing a disruptor's ear about how to listen and what to do with what you are hearing - human-centered, less oppressive communication. Her latest book, Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work, shares her experiences with the intersections of privilege, parenting and power. It’s just come out!

Akilah Richards goes deep into the complexity and nuances of intersections. But the core message is concise, we cannot keep using tools of oppression and expect to raise free people. Unschooling ourselves and disrupting the practices that keep tools of oppression in place is the work that is being done and is the place we need to be in the nonprofit and philanthropic sectors too. Akilah, it is such an honor to have you today on the Ethical Rainmaker.

Akilah Richards: 
Thank you, Michelle, I really appreciate the invitation and I'm looking forward to our chat.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
Me too. You cover so much life-giving ground in your podcast and you really go into the nuance and depth of intersections. I think I've heard of interviews with people from the cohousing communities, folks who are interested in mindfulness, folks who are working with plants. You talk about things from self-care to capitalism, control issues, trap music, a whole variety. And you work with your family: Chris, Marley and Sage, who are regularly featured. All of your work I just find your podcast so healing to listen to and just to hear models and to know about and learn about models that are out there where we can learn to ultimately decolonize ourselves, our minds, and the way that we are in community.

Akilah Richards: 
Yes. Yes, I'm snapping my fingers at all of that.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
I'm wondering, for people that haven't heard the podcast yet, haven't read the books yet, I'm wondering if we could unpack for those that are new to these concepts, what are we even talking about when we're talking about decolonizing ourselves or deschooling ourselves?

Akilah Richards: 
Sure, sure, sure. I'll start with the I guess disclaimer that I've been told, and I agree, that I may not be a very good starting point for unschooling. Because the start is usually, "Okay, not school. We have a problem with school or school got a problem with us, so we're not going that route." That's usually starter point, and then we go into that. I'm not going to talk about the history of public education because there's tons of research around that already, all over the lands. What I will say is that for me, unschooling definitely started out as a place for my daughters, who are now 16 and 14, Marley and Sage, a place ... It was an opportunity for my daughters to learn broader. To learn without the restrictions and confines of conventional schooling.
And I never call it traditional schooling because it isn't. Traditions are human-centered, many of them in terms of learning, not all, but many in terms of learning. Whereas what school is, it's just convention, it's our circumstance, it's actually really new in the learning sphere. Because learning has been happening long before schooling and still happens sometimes in spite of it. What I'm going to give you, so we can get these out the way, are my definitions of unschooling and then deschooling. And I want to say that deschooling is akin to decolonization for many of us. Okay?

Michelle Shireen Muri:
Got it. Thank you.

Akilah Richards:
We use the terms interchangeably actually.


Michelle Shireen Muri:
Great.

Akilah Richards: 
Yeah. Unschooling, the way that I define it is a child-trusting, anti-oppression, liberatory, love-centered approach to parenting and care giving. It also is about creating and expanding communities of confident, capable people who understand how they learn best and how to work collaboratively to learn and solve things. Because it really is, before you talk about learning, it's about trust, it's about looking at what liberation means intergenerationally, which includes learning, but not only that. And it's about love. What does it mean if love is not just about my intention, but about something that's actually surrounded by this ecology of accountability where I'm actually listening to the people who I'm loving on and what they're saying and what they need, and then my love in action is shaped by that. All of those things are really what I understand unschooling to be.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
Gorgeous.

Akilah Richards: 
Thank you. And then I'll touch deschooling. I mentioned that it's a term we use interchangeably with decolonization, and that actually came out of an episode with Lane Santa Cruz, who I think she's been on the podcast twice, good friend of mine, is actually now I think in the city council in Tucson. She talks about, she's another unschooler and talks a lot about how for her community of LatinX folks, the decolonization element is really what allows her to give the sort of nuance that makes it tough a lot of times for black folks, non-black indigenous folks to think about not school. Because school has been such a place of the potential opportunity to realize whatever the hell. So, it can be very tough, understandably, in a lot of BIPOC communities to think beyond the wounds of school.

Akilah Richards: 
We talk about deschooling, and the definition I have for it is shedding the programming and habits that resulted from other people's agency over your time, body, thoughts or actions. It's also ... Yes. It's also about designing and practicing beliefs that align with your desire to thrive, be happy and succeed. And those are the opposite of what has happened and continues to happen, because it's happening still, colonization.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
Thank you. For those of you who have not heard the podcast, this is what it's like, it's amazing. Every time, your mind will Thank you so much for those gorgeous definitions, it's so inspiring within a definition of a thing. Those are definitions, unschooling, deschooling.
And in your work and in your podcast, you're often talking to parents, or at least this is my impression, you're often talking to parents who are doing the work with their kids, doing this beautiful work you're talking about. And you talk to us, the listeners, about how we really need to start with ourselves.

Akilah Richards: 
Totally.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
Yeah. I'm wondering if you would tell us more.

Even though your platform is about unschooling...you’re often talking to parents or listeners, about how we really need to start with ourselves...

Akilah Richards: 
Yeah. Completely. Because it's starting with ourselves and also continuing with ourselves. Because a lot of the work that we do to deschool, to decolonize around the ideas about what learning means and how it happens, those are things that are held in our minds as adults, in our hands. The action that is done is ours, the children are in school because we make them go to school because we feel like that's the best thing for them. Or it's the safest place that they can be while we go to work. All the different reasons that school feels like a good option in many situations. We really don't get a chance to think about the cost of it, just like many other things.

Much of what we do is to think about what would it mean if I wasn't thinking about my child just from the perspective of student? So, if I was thinking about studenthood on the back burner and thinking about personhood on the front, what happens for many people, and it's not just parents that we talk to, just adults. Just adult humans. Many of us start to recognize the ways that our own either the school wounds, like things that happened directly in school or things that happened because of school or because of our good studenthood or bad studenthood, what those things cost us. And the ways, the vices we developed, the relationship issues that we have, how a lot of those things are connected to that loss that we had of developing a personhood that was aligned with actually who we were becoming.

So, when you start to do that work on your own self, in part by not focusing so much on your child's studenthood, then you start to make the connection between the actual human, the child human, and some of the things that they're advocating for or the things they're pushing back against. You just start to really humanize your relationship intergenerationally in a way that makes it so that you can partner with a young person around their learning journey, which may or may not include school. It still might include it, but it brings in other things that are usually not a part of school, like consent and agency, confident autonomy, the nuances of what it means to collaborate in an environment that tells you that if you help somebody, you're going to get in trouble and they're going to get in trouble. Which is the most anti-humane thing ever.

These are the things that happen as you start to ... When you start with yourself and continue with yourself, you start to see the lens through which you're viewing childhood and learning. That's why it's important to start there. You recognize it first of all as not the truth and the light, but as a lens.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
Yes. Thank you. So true, all those things that were taught.

Akilah Richards: 
Yes.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
I really ... I've been so excited to talk to you because what you're talking about in unschooling and unschooling ourselves and really recognizing the damage that gets done in the way that we think about school, the way that we deal with school, the way we have our young people in school or the way that we went through school. It's so important. And it's a mirror for those of us that work in nonprofits and philanthropy, these conversations are a mirror of what's happening in our sector. We are working within systems that have been built on anti-blackness and white supremacy, they're all about colonizing us. And it's also all about thinking about things in a particular way, especially in a white supremus lens.
When we're talking about unschooling and deschooling, and when we're talking about these practices like getting in trouble for helping each other out, this is ... It becomes ... This is just one more perspective to look at this issue through. Because it's happening everywhere, it's happening in our nonprofits. And we are replicating it all the time.

Akilah Richards: 
All the time.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
And upholding these systems.

Akilah Richards: 
All the time, yeah.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
In every sector. But it's so clear when we look at education, especially in the way that you speak about our education.

Akilah Richards: 
Yeah, and I'm glad to hear you say that, it is clear. I'm really encouraged by the sort of feedback I'm getting now from so many people and organizations, which is where it gets really tricky. Just starting to see that connection between the things that we grapple with as adults. I talk about togethering all the time, the different ways we together. Whether it's your professional organization or you just getting together with your homies or whatever. Or in your relationship at home with your family. The ways that we together are so colonized. We want a leader, we want somebody needs to be right, one person's talking, the other people are listening. We do a lot of inhumane things that have become so normalized. And they didn't just appear in adulthood, they didn't just happen when you got that job with that one person. These are things that happen throughout our schooled lives.
I call these things schoolishness. Not because they are rooted in school, but oftentimes school is where they are perpetuated. Whether we're talking about the K through 12 level or we're talking about higher education, a lot of the things that happen in schools and around schoolishness are the very same things that we grapple with. And I mentioned one of them, helping people, what does that look like? Being ashamed to ask for help. As a content creator, this is something that we struggle with all the time, the idea that what is the gap between what we think we should know and do, which comes from school. You got to appear a certain way, and what the reality is and where we ask for help. How are we perceived? All of these things that are very human: needing help, collaboration, things not being equal all the time, but things being equitable because we know how to do that in community. We look at actual needs and not metrics that are standardized.
These are the things that people are grappling with all over. And they didn't come from that one job or one industry, they came from the ways that we are yanked out of these human childhood experiences and put inside of this machine to standardize and compare, even with the best intentions, even with wonderful teachers, which I've had, my daughters have had. This is not an issue about the people inside the institutions, it's about the systemic elements and the upholding of that, that we do unconsciously and across, as you said, across sectors, that makes it very difficult for us to detangle and look at who's the human that I'm dealing with and what is the gap here between what I'm hearing and experiencing with them and the should that's so inherent in my schoolishness? We get to be with those things as unschoolers. And we talk about them as skillsets. So, you don't have to not go to school to develop unschooling skillsets.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
I love that. Thank you for that. Yeah. And for a lot of us, those folks who are listening as well, it feels too late to go backwards. We can see the mistakes that were made maybe in the ways that we were trained. And then what we're left with is, "Oh man, my training, look at it."

Akilah Richards: 
Right, right.

It can feel disheartening.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
Yeah. It's rooted in all these things I don't actually believe in, but my training is such. My training is such that my chill time needs to be productive. My training is such-

Akilah Richards: 
Right, we don't even have real chill time because you can't brag about it.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
No, right. We can't brag about it, exactly. Exactly. Yeah, my training is such that I need to think that I have the answers and then to bring them all and put them upon other people like I have all the answers.

Akilah Richards: 
At all costs.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
At all costs.

Akilah Richards: 
Right? Even if we don't mean to, because it's not just something that we do with children or to children. This is why I'm just so grateful for this whole movement around self-directed education and I want to really name that here. Because unschooling is a type of self-directed education, and there are many other types of self-directed education as well. I feel like for me, 2020 has been the fucking year of self-directed education.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
Yes, it has.

Akilah Richards: 
And it's right on time. That's not coincidence, that's not ... That is really a part of what's happening in nature. That we are being called to come back to the spaces where we trust. Not trust based on evidence and data and metrics, but trust that is rooted in feelings and connection and being able to observe and connect from a place where you understand that you have a lens and that you have bias inherently, that we all do. And that we have tools and practices to navigate those things. It doesn't mean we got to wash our hands and be like, "All right great, I got it. Now I'm decolonized, bet, let's go." Not at all. We're using all of the realities of everything you just said. "Oh my God!" I have good friends who are therapists and they're like, "Yo, when I was doing this, my whole life was this, I knew everybody around me, including myself needed this. And now I'm done with it and I realize that therapy is so colonized."

The whole world, the Shawna Murray-Brown and Thea Monyee, these are two therapists who are ... Two black women therapists who have really pushed back publicly and continue to do work to say, "Listen, we need to decolonize these spaces. We need to look at what is happening with the human, what is the systemic anti-black racist elements that are sitting in here that we're carrying over? And now, how to do, together differently with this knowledge?" Not put it aside or fix it right away, but we're going to be with it. Because it's here, it's real.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
Right. Right. Ooh, so powerful, I love listening to you talk. I could do it for days, and I have. But I look forward to more. 

Reset
This is The Ethical Rainmaker, I’m Michelle Shireen Muri. I’m talking with Akilah Richards an expert in unschooling as a tool for decolonizing education... and liberating ourselves... from oppressive exclusive systems. She emphasizes unschooling and the self-directed education movement and how it can... and is... serving as healing grounds and liberation work. You can find out more about her work at raisingfreepeople.com

You were talking at the beginning of season six of your podcast, Fare of the Free Child, you said it was about that this season is about naming and shrinking the ways that we've been taught to separate things that we shouldn't separate. One of the examples you used is just again, all of this very related to fundraising, very related to nonprofits, very related to philanthropy. And specifically to the movement of community centrism, which is one example you gave, the learner deserves to be centered over the curriculum in the learning process. So important. Another thing you said, partnership needs to be centered. Same with understanding more than being understood.
These pieces, all of this that you're talking about is so related to when we're thinking about service, really what does it mean to provide a service? And what does it actually mean to work in partnership with? And what does it mean to center community and what the community itself actually wants? These pieces, especially this one example, the learner deserves to be centered over the curriculum is just such a fucking beautiful simply stated way of what we should be doing in the nonprofit sector. We should be serving, we should be centering the communities, the community that we are meant to serve needs to be centered over whatever plans that your nonprofit came up with or whatever plans your donor or your foundation or your institutional partner thought was a good idea. It actually needs to come from the community itself, the learner themselves, in this example.

Akilah Richards: 
Otherwise it's colonization.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
Right.

Akilah Richards: 
Yes. Because what you're doing is you're taking a space that has a richness that you've identified and you said, "Great, I like it, I don't think they know what to do with it, so I'm going to decide. I don't even care if they know what to do with it." Because they are doing things with it, I just don't value that. So, I'm instead, as the person with the knowledge and the information and the smarts and all of that, I'm going to go in and I'm going to just decide for them and I'm going to do it in ways that are going to be great for everyone. All these well-intentioned, quote unquote, things. You see that parallel, right? Like what I was talking about is an adult-child relationship. But really that shit applies across the board to so many things.

I see it across ... Again, just across sectors over this past year and a half I've been working a lot more with higher ed. So, working with an ivy league university, a couple of non-ivy league I guess regular ass universities, I don't know what they're called, they're not ivy league. And I've been working with corporations and also specifically corporate leadership, people who do corporate leadership work. I've been working in those space, brought in initially to do diversity and inclusion work. But really the work that I do is about decolonization and belonging. And those two are not the same thing. They're not the same thing at all.

Because so much of what we're talking about now is to look at the ways that the settler colonial lens lives in our practices. Not just as white people, but how it lives in our practices across the board. And then what can we do to name that communally and individually? Because that's one of the things that I love about the unschooling movement, that it speaks both to the individual and the responsibilities and opportunities they're in. But then who is that for in addition to the individual? Who is impacted? What does impact look like? If we are not listening to the people that we impact, just as you were talking about, then what we're doing is colonizing. If we're making a film about unschooling in a black community and you didn't have any sort of connection to the black people in the community, that's an act of colonization.

These are things that ... And again, we learned these things from these practices that have been normalized, but they're not very humane. And many of those are upheld in school. So, when we talk about unschooling, we're talking about moving away from schoolishness, not necessarily school. Because many people can thrive in school, especially at the higher education level, with a knowledge of self, with a clarity of your actual community. But what usually happens is that school is often romanticized. And we have, just like with parenting, we parent right past the kid. We're like, "Yeah, this is who you could be, so that's what I'm going to focus on." Same thing with school. "This is the potential right here, so that's what I'm going to focus on." Forget about who's actually in front of me talking right now. That practice is one that has been ... We really learned that from school.

The idea that there's a person, we can't together, that's inappropriate most times. You compete, you stand out, you try to shine. And then you'll earn the right to be whatever the thing is that makes you happy later on. But if we look at these things now, a lot of the skills, a lot of the bullying, a lot of the feelings of not enoughness and not knowing how to be in community with other people while holding your own boundaries, these are the things that I work on with these organizations. We work on belonging and decolonization. Because the output, your product and the way the people in your department feel, those things are one thing. But what are the roots of that? What are the individuals doing? It's personal leadership work, really.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
Yep.

Akilah Richards: 
Right? For communal healing. That's what it is. And the skills in it, the schools in unschooling apply. I see it over and over again, especially this year. They apply whether you fuck with school or not.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
Right. Ooh, so true. And you know what? I was listening to an episode last week where your daughter, I think it was Marley that was talking about peers, same aged peers.

Akilah Richards: 
Oh yes, that was Mar, yeah.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
Yeah. Same aged peers who can't actually handle the decision making involved in just a simple hangout. Or can't name their needs can't put words to the thing that they're feeling, can't create momentum around a project. Again, so much of that shows up in ... And that's Marley who's how old?

Akilah Richards: 
16, yeah.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
Marley is 16 talking about how she's getting tired of walking her peers through having to identify their emotions and walking her peers through having to identify what they actually want to do next.

Akilah Richards: 
Yeah.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
She's tired.


Akilah Richards:
And then she gets mad at me. She comes in like, "Yo, what is going on with y'all adults where ..." I'm like, "I get it, I get it." And it's not because their parents are not wonderful people who don't love their kids. It's just that the schoolish mindset says, "Look, baby girl, baby boy, baby nonbinary, as long as you get your grades ..." It's like that's the primary thing. And I mean, I so gamed the school system, it wasn't even funny. I was so disconnected from it, yet I, on paper it just looked like I did really great because I saw it as a system. You press the buttons and you get the things. And I could tell, even as a teen, what school was costing me. Not with the level of nuance that I have now obviously. But I knew that it was costing me things. And I knew that if I performed schoolishness and studenthood, then I could just get away with a lot of other shit.

And what we're talking about now is moving away from young people needing to perform studenthood and their right to be violated as humans, and instead looking at a way that integrates the same stuff we talk about as adults when we're in our 30s and 40s and 50s trying to get to who am I? What are my boundaries? How do I show up in the world in a way that is both affirming for me and welcoming for the sort of energies that I want to be part of? What happens when I'm super uncomfortable with someone or I don't understand or don't like, yet we have a common goal that we need to work through? These are real life situations that we do not get practice with in school.

Because if you get in trouble in school, and I know because that part I didn't go great at, I got in trouble a lot. No one's going to sit down and actually deal with the root of the thing. You're going to get kicked out of the classroom, it's a whole punishment and reward-based system. We are acclimated to that, yet our human selves, our natural selves still recognize that as egregious. So, we deal with the impasse and the frustration of that and we deal with that on each other.

If we are now instead looking at the reality that we are all colonized in all these many ways and then we instead are saying, "What does it mean to develop a disruptor's ear?" You mentioned that workbook that Malika and I created. How can I disrupt this regularly scheduled programming so that my awareness, you know, everybody woke now. So my awareness, if it is now followed by, if I don't have things in there to disrupt those patterns and offering an accountability so that I can begin my deschooling process and so that I can move into the unschooling that I talk about that's not about not school. If you're not doing that, then you just aware, aware, aware. Complain, complain, complain. Cry, frustrate, mini solution here. But we're not actually moving beyond the issue. And that's what Fare of the Free Child is about. You hear a bunch of people talking about the problem that's present, but also some of the ways that they've been able to navigate that in ways that are effective for them and that are growing and deepening their relationships communally.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
That is why it makes it my favorite thing to listen to. It's so healing. So good.

Akilah Richards: 
Right? We got to know this. We got options.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
Yeah. We got options. And people are practicing them. They're doing it. Some have been doing it for a long time. They're doing it in different sectors. Again, I'm thinking of someone who was talking about co-housing communities.

Akilah Richards: 
Yes, yes.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
I'm thinking about what was-

Akilah Richards: 
That was-

Michelle Shireen Muri:
It was a good episode.

Akilah Richards: 
Yes, Crystal Bird Farmer, her book the Token. Yes, shout out to Crystal, yes.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
Shout out to Crystal, I'll put in a link in the show notes.

Akilah Richards: 
Please do, yes.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
To that book yeah, and to that work.

Akilah Richards: 
She runs a self-directed education center. And it's so great because then she ... That's another ... Just shout out to Crystal. Because she talks about those same sort of things about the ways that we don't even recognize. We don't even recognize what's happening. And then when we do, what happens is we recognize and we either retreat or retaliate. Because that's what school tells us. It's like uh oh, you messed up, hide. Brush it off on something or someone else. Or retaliate because then you're going to look like X, Y, Z.

Whereas if we're moving into these self-directed practices, then we're saying, "Wait a minute, what does it mean to be where we are right now?" What are the things that have emerged in this particular community that we find effective that we want to talk with other people about so that we can pull a little piece from their thing and they can pull a little piece from ours. And we test this shit out together because that's what a lot of life is. And we do it while inviting, again, that accountability that is so missing from a lot of the conversations about equity right now. Who are you listening to? You're making big plans, who are you talking to?

Michelle Shireen Muri:
Exactly. I literally talked to an organization earlier this week who had received a list of demands from their BIPOC community of staff. They were taking action around it. But when we got clear, we got clear that they weren't actually listening to any of the demands. They were just taking action around it. There's a lot of not listening happening.


Akilah Richards: 
Yeah. And that's schoolishness 101. You don't actually have to understand some shit to quote unquote, prove that you know it. That's schoolishness 101. How many tests did you take and ace that you're like, "I don't know." You don't even remember an hour later, let alone years later. Those skills are school skills. So, in deschooling we get to name those and disrupt those so that we can begin an unschooling practice that says when do I plug into elements of the system? Because particularly as black folks, I imagine other people too, but as black folks sometimes we got to do that. Our survival, our capacity to design a path to sustain and thrive is sometimes means that we got to dip into elements of the system. But what I feel called to, is to really nurture that wholeness, that reclamation, the recovery of self to get into the old knowings of unschooling.

Akilah Richards: 
Because this shit is old. It's older than school. So that we can learn to be together in ways that are healthy. And that if we choose school, we can be whole in it, as opposed to the way that it is such an extractive experience for so many of us.

Reset
 

Akilah Richards is joining us today on The Ethical Rainmaker. She’s the host of the Fare of the Free Child podcast, a TedX speaker and a 10x book author having just released her latest book, Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing work. Learn more about Akilah and access the show notes at theethicalrainmaker.com

Yes, they do. Thank you. I love it. One of the things that I'm seeing, especially as we launched community-centric fundraising at this time just after the murder of George Floyd and we've seen these double-pandemics. You could call it lots of things, but we've seen this version of reality play out. And what I've seen a lot in this movement of community-centric fundraising is a lot of well-meaning people trying really hard. And I'm talking about well-meaning white people, but I'm also talking about people of color. Trying really hard to either help their organizations or help themselves and they're consuming media and they're consuming all the books that they're told to read, all the things that are recommended. They're going through it.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
And I'm seeing people tweak out, get frazzled, really kind of get lost in what do I do? How do I do this? Et cetera, et cetera. Just, I'm seeing a lot of that frazzle burnout that's not really focused. It's basically the opposite of what you would probably talk to people about. I'm wondering, in terms of for those who are trying hard, who are well-meaning, who are trying to read the right books and do the right thing, but are feeling overwhelmed by it. I feel like you might have some clues or some tips around self-directed education and self-directedness in adults. And what it really looks like not just to cram the fire hose of knowledge, but what does it really look like to truly learn and be self-directed in that learning? And really get it.

Mmmm. Yes it is. One of the things that I'm seeing, in this movement of community-centric fundraising, is a lot of well-meaning people trying really hard. And I'm talking about well-meaning white people, but I'm also talking about people of color. Trying hard to either help themselves or their organizations through racial equity work or dismantling of structures or status quo...and they're consuming media and all the books that they're told to read, all the things that are recommended. They're going through it, frazzled and getting lost in the “what do I do” and “how do I do this…” I feel like you might have some tips around self-directed learning in adults. And what it really looks like not just to cram from the fire hose of knowledge, but what does it look like to really “get it.”

Akilah Richards: 
Yeah. The first thing that it's about is questioning, being willing to question without feeling like you can question your way to the answer. The questions become the curriculum, that's a part of it. So, when you ask that question of, "What can I do?" Instead of what can I do, like okay, I need to find the answer. It's like oh, this is good that this is a question that's coming up for me. I'm not going to ignore it and not do anything because there's so many options and I don't know what to do. And I'm not going to get on my high and mighty thing and just pick one and be like, "This is it, this is the truth and the way."

Instead, again, I talk so much about an ecology of accountability. Because we find that in the self-directed spaces that's often one of the things that's missing. It's like your intentions are there and then you have some resources and you see a need the way that you define it, so you go do something. Okay, but you need to be involved. So, we talked about this a little bit at the top of our conversation. Whoever it is that you feel like you want to impact, how can you get into community with them? Right now. How can you get in community with them? Lots of people like myself and you, we have Patreon communities. And that's about currency, that's not just money, but it also means that we're asking questions, we're investing time, getting feedback and all of that. That's one place and that's tied to money.

But then there are also other places, like I have Fare of the Free Child village inside the Mighty Network's platform, it's actually one small village inside of the My Reflection Matters village, which  Morales James, super dope sister out of Connecticut. Is it Connecticut? Or is it Massachusetts? Oh my God, I forgot. But she's on that side of the world. Her whole organization, it's My Reflection Matters, and she invited Fare of the Free Child to have a spot in there. We're in there and we are talking with white parents and lots of folks just a collaboration of us, who are saying what are some of the things we can do together? Not these broad stroke sound good window dressing, as my friend Malika calls it, responses.

But sometimes what you can do is be in community with one person of color who actually wants to be in community with you so that you can start to unlearn some shit that nobody can tell you in a book. Stop focusing on all the dead non-white people that you can read and name and brag about that you read them. Talk to some of the ones that are alive right now. That's the first novel idea.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
Sorry, I love it. The first novel idea. All right, we're ready for more.

Akilah Richards: 
Right. Just talk to the ones that are alive right now. And if you're not in community with someone in terms of geographically, because that's another schoolish thing. "But you're not my classmate, how will I ever meet you?" And we all suffer from that, myself included because it's a schoolish thing. But many people appreciate being reached out to, especially if you're really looking to ... So, not reaching out like, "Oh my God, can you please educate me?" No. More like, "Oh my God, I went to your site and I went to these things and I saw these things and I'd love to start here. Is that a good point, or is there a place you recommend that I start with your work?" Or posting the question maybe on their Instagram, "Oh, I love this and I see people are commenting, which episode did you like first?" If it's the podcast. I've had white people do that. Because they've listened enough to know look, don't try to give me more work. Don't reach out to me. I'm doing something. I'm busy. Get yourself involved.

It's that. It's to be in community with non-white people, and particularly black women, so that you can start to see what somebody cannot explain to you. And then because you'll be in actual relationship over time, then you can discern when to ask certain questions or who to ask. Or somebody who's learning to trust you over time can say, "Oh, you need to be a part of the Free Joy experience with Thea [inaudible 00:39:26] and Ebony [Geneice 00:39:27]. Because they focus on this thing right here." Generally it seems like oftentimes people are looking for the answer, because that's schoolishness, when really if you can start with, "Where can I go and ask more questions?" Questions that are better than the questions that I've asked before. Questions that might land with people who want to answer questions. That's where you start. You get out and you do that work.


Michelle Shireen Muri:
Thank you so much for that. Again, I just, I really am a huge fan. I really appreciate your work. I think it's so key to the work that we're doing with community-centric fundraising and just centering community in general, trying to decolonize the ways that we have become accustomed to in the nonprofit and philanthropic sectors. We really need to be questioning everything. The way that we've done everything in our sector. Because we are really, truly not serving the folks that we have reported that we want to serve, the issue areas that we report that we want to serve, the beings that we say we want to serve. And so much of the wisdom of how it needs to change and what we need to do differently, all of that is represented in the work that you're doing. Just again, thank you.

Akilah Richards: 
Thank you.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
Yeah. And I wanted to ask you a little bit, you've just put out a book, I have not had the chance to get through it yet, but you know it's coming. I would love to hear all about it. Because this is book number 10, and it's the first one that you did not self-publish, right?

Akilah Richards: 
Yep. Totally, yeah. Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work. I didn't even ... It's just so great how it happened. But ultimately I was really able to write the book that I wanted to write. I know from experiences with so many of my friends even, some of whom have New York Times best selling books, that it can be really hard. It is often a major struggle to write the book that you want to write. I got to write the book that I wanted to write. And this is really, what it is, is an extension of Fare of the Free Child Podcast. It allows for us to have this one little thing, and it's a small book on purpose. Because I wanted people to be able to put that shit in they bag and be like, "Bam, this page is what I was talking about right here."

So, we really was talking about the ways that black folks, non-black indigenous folks and people of color have been able to bring self-directedness, because it's such an old skill, into now, and what that looks like. And why for us it is not just about school or not school, it's liberation work. I really talk about what liberation means for me personally, and share the stories of other people, many of whom have been on the podcast, and also my daughters' direct perspectives, both of my daughters' direct perspective. Chris, my partner, their dad, a lot of his perspectives. It really is just to open up a little bit, what is this unschooling thing if you're not just talking about school or not school? How is it connected to decolonization? How is it liberatory? How do people in the islands think about it differently than the people in wherever?

Obviously these are general terms, some of it. But a lot of it is so super specific. So, it's meant to be specific to offer you examples of how it shows up, it's meant to give webbing, to show all of the different things that this is actually connected to. And of course, like all things I do, it's meant to amplify the voices of black folks, non-black indigenous folks, and people of color, period.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
Thank you for writing it. thank you for collecting all of those experiences and for creating that extension in yet one more format that is easy to access. Again, the links to all of this will be in the show notes. I learned from you earlier that you've created a beautiful kind of state of the state for all the folks that follow your work.

Akilah Richards: 
Yes, yes, yes. It's the State of the Podcast Network ... I don't know, situation. It really just breaks down, it's a bit of a year-end review, a lot of the things that we've been able to accomplish this year. And it also speaks to the vision forward, as you mentioned. I was talking about season five and what was popping for season five, and then what we're looking to do with season six and beyond. So, it speaks to that in detail. It talks about some invitations that I'm making for particular community leaders in self-directed education, like established community leaders who I know that I can offer a level of support just through my platform. And then it also is a call for funding in a way that I think is decolonized. And this is why when you reached out I was like, "Oh my God, easy yes. I manifested this conversation, appreciate it, thanks."

Because so much of this is I get ... There was such pushback around the idea for me, for years. I applied for a bazillion fellowships, didn't get them. Because I'm like how are you asking ... You're saying that you're reaching out to these communities of people doing this work, but then you're going to make me do all of these things right here outside of this important work that I'm doing to prove to you that I'm doing it? It's just wrong. It's not set up properly. And like so many things, I know that I don't need to be able to articulate the shit beautifully for me to be right about what I'm saying. Because I know what he hell I'm feeling

This is really about that. So, it's offering people an opportunity to think about what it means to fund, to invest in somebody's something with your dollars and your skills, without doing the colonizer thing and being like, "Great, so now you got to do these 15 things first, in the middle, at the end. And you got to compete with four other people and I got to take pictures so that they see that I'm helping you." So, it's really to name that and to say here's what we're looking to do, here's how we want to be in partnership and here's the invitation for how you do that. That's what that ... And I'm going to do it on the podcast, next week's episode will be a shorter version of that same address.


Michelle Shireen Muri:
Beautiful. All right. So, what I'm hearing, for everybody that's listening, is a call for funding for meaningful partnership. And they can find that where?


Akilah Richards: 
RaisingFreePeople.com, that's the main site and I have a page for it. But also, I'm on Patreon. Patreon.com/Akilah. The State of the Podcast Network Address is a public post, so you do not need to be a patron to see it or to share it.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
That's beautiful. I wish you all the funding that you could ever want or need for all the projects that you're working on.

Akilah Richards:
Thank you so much.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
Yeah. And again, call out to funders, this is what we're dealing with. This is what we're dealing with. All these barriers, ridiculous barriers to fellowships, for example, proving the many ways in which something is set up perfectly for the funder to just understand what's happening and fund it, it's a lot of work. It's too much work for our community's leaders to have to go through.

Akilah Richards:
Yeah. And sometimes it's inappropriate. Not only is it too much work, it's sometimes it's inappropriate. Because your metrics for whether some ... It's like you're taking the process that is valuable and you're saying these things are valuable, you're making call out in these particular areas. But what you're doing is you're taking that thing and then you're trying to fit an existing thing into your idea, as opposed to bringing your resources to something that is working well for a community that you might not have metrics and understanding for.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
That's right. That's right. Right. Huge problems, and solutions can be found all within Akilah's network. So, please again, links in the show notes to all of the things that we've talked about today.


Akilah Richards:
Thank you, Michelle.


Michelle Shireen Muri:
Sure. I have two more questions for you, and this one is a question that I ask all guests, which is you've done this incredible body of work and you are mid-stride, you are in it, it is amazing. I know it's been just gaining momentum the entire time that you've been working within this movement and building it and being one of the many leaders in these movements around unschooling.

Akilah Richards:
Yes, because there are so many of us.


Michelle Shireen Muri:
There are.


Akilah Richards:
Yes.


Michelle Shireen Muri:
There are. And I get to hear them on your podcast.


Akilah Richards:
Yes.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
You've created all of these things, and I just wonder if you would, from the moment that you're born until now there were so many things that have happened to shape the course of your life and shape who you are and what you do. What would you say are some of the primary identities that you hold that shape this work that you're doing now?

Akilah Richards:
Yeah. Certainly blackness for me is such an important part of my how and my why and my what. I'm a person who's long been connected to my ancestors, not just in the obvious ways of literal relation, but in terms of connection beyond that. Being able to hear and understand feelings that are connected to things that are way before me and things that are beyond me. For me, my blackness is such an integral part of my how and why. Also being a Jamaican, which has its ... There's an element of that, that I have all these issues with how a place is formed, a country. The idea of the borders and all of these things that I'm unlearning. But then I also have deep value for culture and of course my own family as a Jamaican. I think that also the level of ... The differences of dealing with British colonialism and then whatever it is here, that's also something that impacts the way that I see things and the way that I can connect people.

I definitely see myself as a connector of sorts. And a part of my background culturally as a Jamaican and then moving here as a young child, I moved to the U.S. when I was 10. But it was enough time, and then I lived in Jamaica as an adult for some time. Those elements really shape a lot of things for me. Also woman. Identifying as woman and womanhood and all the elements of that for me. Both the things that I know and learned, and also the things that I am unlearning are so connected to how I show up and why. And I would say those are the three primary things. As a black person that's connected to my ancestral lineage in as many ways as I can and continue to be. And then also as a Jamaican who has had certain ... Gives me a different type of lens, and certainly as a woman. Those are the three that stand out for me as you asked the question.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
Yeah, right. Thank you. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself in all of the work that you do. And really, when I think about freedom of self expression, I think about you and all of the work that you've done for yourself and with yourself to be able to teach everyone around you, this community, to be able to build the partnerships that you've been building, to be able to produce the things that you've been producing. And to be the mother and the teacher that you also are too. Thank you so much for sharing so openly.

Akilah Richards:
You're so welcome. And everything you just said about me, I also am a beneficiary of. I have lots of teachers around me, especially Marley and Sage, my daughters are my primary teachers. And I learn out loud. I think a big part of why people will hear about me as one unschooling organizer among many, is often just because I learn out loud. I don't, for sure one of the ways that I am being raised by my Jamaican grandmother is, "Look, I don't give a damn what you think." People say that, and people also know that I'm deeply caring. But in terms of my perspective on a thing, I'm going to say it. And that's something I'm proud of, and it's also something that I am able to use, again, to amplify and connect. I'm glad that it's a skill that somehow I have.

Michelle Shireen Muri:
Oh yeah. Yeah. We are all lucky for that. We are all lucky for that. Thank you.

Akilah Richards:
I appreciate you, Michelle.

Outro:
And that’s it for The Ethical Rainmaker. I’m your host and executive producer Michelle Shireen Muri. You can find show notes and transcripts of this and every episode, at theethicalrainmaker.com

We are self-funded. So. If you’d like to inspire this beautiful series through your financial contribution - we’ll take it on Patreon! Thank you so much to our newest patrons, Anne, Laura and Michelle!

Please do pass on the word about this pod to people you think might love it - your coworkers, your friends and collaborators...it helps us get the word out!  Subscribe to this podcast to get the best of what we have to offer, and you know...boost our numbers. I promise there are more incredible episodes on their way - every other Wednesday.

The Ethical Rainmaker is produced in Seattle, Washington by Isaac Kaplan-Woolner with editing assistance by Kasmira [kas-murr-ah] Hall, and socials by Rachelle Pierce. This pod is sponsored by Freedom Conspiracy, my fundraising consulting collective, which you can find at freedom-conspiracy.com.

Our theme song “I’m Gold” is by Trick Candles to whom we owe deep gratitude! You can find them on Band Camp. We are so looking forward to continuing these amazing conversations so, see you in two weeks!

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